Pride Conference

DEALING WITH TRUST IN A RELATIONSHIP

A bad previous relationship can shatter your confidence and ability to trust others. It will take a lot of effort on your part to regain confidence and the will to risk another relationship. You may even need professional therapy to help you regain your confidence. One of the most difficult things is to learn to trust and be self-confident again after a failed romantic relationship where one has been betrayed and their trust shattered.

The sad thing about a bad previous relationship is the negative impact it tends to have on future relationships. There is a struggle with the constant fear of destroying the new relationship because of difficulties in trusting the new person in your life and the tendency to imagine the worst. But, when you have loved and lost, you have to do your best to let go of the past and move on with your life – taking risks with your heart again is worth it, even though it is not easy at all.

When you have been hurt and rejected, there is the tendency to look for constant verbal reassurance or validation from your new partner. You must strive to regain your sense of self and this must come from within. Avoid the tendency to worry and evaluate everything your new partner says to assuage your insecurities.

Do not ruin a new relationship by judging it based on previous relationships. If your new partner does not tell you everything, it may not mean he or she is lying. It is important to note that constantly questioning someone’s trustworthiness makes them question if they can trust you to stay with them.

You cannot be in a relationship, or be happy and intimate without trust, and if your past relationships are hampering your current one in this regard, you have to work at it. You cannot control the trajectory of any relationship – if someone will hurt you it is about them, not you. The important thing is to be true to yourself and be honest with your partner. When you know based on a previous experience that you are not being treated properly by your partner, express how you feel, and if things do not change, put an end to the relationship. But, if the new person in your life is treating you with care, love and affection, do not let the baggage of a previous relationship ruin it.

Image credit: businesshorsepower.com

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