I went to a photo studio to have some passport photographs taken. As I stood outside the cashiers boot to pay for the pictures, I could not help noticing a poster on one of the walls of her booth. It read:
DON’T EVER GIVE ANY MAN THE OPPORTUNITY TO BREAK YOUR HEART
LOVE IS UNKIND
LOVE IS NOT WORTH THE TROUBLE
LOVE HAS NOTHING TO OFFER, BUT PAIN
MEN ARE A BUNCH OF LYING, TREACHEROUS BEASTS
THEY ARE USERS
THEY ARE HEARTLESS
IF YOU GIVE THEM THE CHANCE THEY’D WOUND AND BREAK YOUR HEART…
BE CAREFUL THAT’S ALL.
Take aback by such strong negative philosophy about love and men; I could not help asking the young lady if she believed what was written on the poster. She simply shrugged her shoulders.
“You’ve got to be kidding, ‘’ I said.
“No, I am serious, ‘’ she replied.
‘May I have a copy made of it? I am really Intrigued, ‘’I requested
“Sure”. She got the poster off the wall and I paid to have it photocopied.
“If you really believe in what is written on the poster, I’d like you to initial my copy”
“Sure,’’ She said and with that she initialed my copy which I have before me I write this article.
In the few relationships I had before I got married, I had always parted ways with my ex’s without rancor or bitterness. Once in a long while, when I bumped into any of my old flames, it has always been cordial with the exchange of polite pleasantries. This is the reason I am at a loss as to what kind of men this young lady tangled with to make her have such a negative opinion of love and men. Perhaps I was just plain lucky with my men.
Unfortunately, I was not able to ask what led her to this point. It would have been highly presumptuous of me to ask so personal a question of a total stranger.
I could not help thinking about the philosophy expressed in the poster.
I share a different opinion of men (again, perhaps I was one of the lucky ones). Here’s my analysis of her poster.
BE CAREFUL: There is nothing wrong with one examining a potential relationship before taking the plunge. Besides, you need to know what you are getting in to, don’t you?
DON’T EVER GIVE ANY MAN THE OPPORTUNITY TO BREAK YOUR HEART: Wise advice! However, one cannot go through life, afraid of getting emotionally hurt. Someone once said, every time you allow yourself to love some-one, get close to someone, you risk the possibility of get hurt.” Falling in love is risky business, but you don’t run away from love and loving because of this. As the saying goes, “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.” Being afraid of getting hurt is a lame excuse for not getting on with your life.
LOVE IS UNKIND; LOVE IS NOT WORTH THE TROUBLE. LOVE HAS NOTHING TO OFFER, BUT PAIN: This is the height of cynicism! Not with the beautiful definition of love by St. Paul in 1st Corinthians 13:4: “Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boatsful, it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never ends.”
The advice proffered in “Desiderata” as regards love is worth taking note of – “Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and dis-enhancement, it is as perennial as the grass.”
MEN ARE A BUNCH OF LYING, TREACHEROUS BEASTS THEY ARE USERS. THEY ARE HEARTLESS: Making such a general statement about men is grossly unfair. I am sure that there are still a few good guys out there.
IF YOU GIVE THEM CHANCE THEY’D WOUND A BREAK YOUR HEART: Man-Woman relationship is not a battleground. It is not a war! Besides, it takes two to have a relationship. Men are also vulnerable, and do get their hearts wounded and broken by (to borrow her style of language) – A BUNCH OF LYING, TREACHEROUS, HEARTLESS BITCHES WHO USE THEM AND DISCARD THEM. Love is a game, of two.
BE CAREFUL THAT’S ALL – We should all be careful in all our undertakings be it our love life or our daily living. Relationships need to be nurtured with care and understanding for them to last and succeed.