Pride Conference


Love is when the other person’s happiness is more important than your own.                                                                                                      H. Jackson Brown, Jr.


Remember the song “50 Ways To Leave Your Lover” by Paul Simon? A female friend of mine once told me that this song made her very angry: “How dare anyone make suggestions about how to leave one’s lover?!”. She was more comfortable with the Beatles song that tells us – “All you need is love, love is all you need.”


When individuals make the necessary efforts to keep a relationship going and happy, they stand a better chance of having a successful relationship. With this in mind, and the assumption of most women that a lot of men don’t have a clue as to how to have a loving relationship, here is my little contribution towards making us men better lovers.




Read, learn and implement, and with a bit of luck, your love life will blossom.

  1. Treat her like a queen, ravish her like a whore.
  2. Presents bring joy. No matter how small or big, expensive or cheap, it shows you are thinking of the person.
  3. Men find it difficult to voice their feelings. Tell her you love her often and please mean it.
  4. Make sure your relationship has warmth.
  5. Pay her compliments on her looks and outfits.
  6. Lovemaking is not: ‘Wham! Bang! Thank you ma’am!” – it is appreciating your partner’s need for a pleasurable union.
  7. Try to remember and celebrate (not necessarily elaborately) important dates in your relationship – the day you met, your first date, birthdays, anniversaries, etc.
  8. Remember that love is like a garden; you have to nurture it for it to blossom.
  9. Provide thoughtfully for her physically and emotional needs.
  10. Occasional love notes are not out of place.
  11. Be alive to your responsibilities towards her.
  12. Make her feel like a million dollars.
  13. Pray together as one.
  14. Take her out occasionally to visit friends and family.
  15. Make her realise that you really do enjoy her company.
  16. Compliment her culinary efforts.
  17. Share jokes and anecdotes with her. Lighten up!
  18. Show by your actions that you care. Be demonstrative.
  19. Be dependable – someone she can lean on.
  20. Steal kisses from her occasionally.
  21. Do your share of the housework.
  22. Fuss over her when she’s not feeling too well.
  23. Be kind to her.
  24. Watch romantic movies together.
  25. Prove yourself trustworthy, do not give her cause to suspect you are fooling around.
  26. See the humour in her jokes.
  27. Sweet-talk her from time to time.
  28. Overlook some of her shortcomings.
  29. Act on the premise that “love bears all things”.
  30. Be her closest friend and confidant.
  31. Cuddle up often, not necessarily for lovemaking.
  32. Affectionately holding hands.
  33. Occasionally engage in good humoured teasing.
  34. Take care of the children together, they also carry your genes!
  35. Pay attention (listen) and consider her point of view.
  36. Show by your actions that you are proud of her.
  37. Give her an affectionate nickname.
  38. Regard her with the affection
  39. Present her with the first flower from the garden.
  40. Bring her tea/coffee in bed.
  41. Tell her she makes you feel very manly.
  42. Make her feel like she’s the sexiest woman on earth.
  43. Bring home her favourite snacks occasionally.
  44. Show her that you trust her.
  45. Splurge on her, just because…
  46. Make sure she is your “one and only”.
  47. You don’t have to win every argument, agree to disagree.
  48. Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner of her mistakes in the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
  49. Call her often when you are apart.
  50. Play games together.

Charles Anyiam-Osigwe.

Photo Credit: Brilliant Brush Gallery.

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