Love is when the other person’s happiness is more important than your own. H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Remember the song “50 Ways To Leave Your Lover” by Paul Simon? A female friend of mine once told me that this song made her very angry: “How dare anyone make suggestions about how to leave one’s lover?!”. She was more comfortable with the Beatles song that tells us – “All you need is love, love is all you need.”
When individuals make the necessary efforts to keep a relationship going and happy, they stand a better chance of having a successful relationship. With this in mind, and the assumption of most women that a lot of men don’t have a clue as to how to have a loving relationship, here is my little contribution towards making us men better lovers.
Here goes – YOUR LESSON IN LOVE AND LOVING: FIFTY WAYS TO PLEASE YOUR LOVER.
Read, learn and implement, and with a bit of luck, your love life will blossom.
- Treat her like a queen, ravish her like a whore.
- Presents bring joy. No matter how small or big, expensive or cheap, it shows you are thinking of the person.
- Men find it difficult to voice their feelings. Tell her you love her often and please mean it.
- Make sure your relationship has warmth.
- Pay her compliments on her looks and outfits.
- Lovemaking is not: ‘Wham! Bang! Thank you ma’am!” – it is appreciating your partner’s need for a pleasurable union.
- Try to remember and celebrate (not necessarily elaborately) important dates in your relationship – the day you met, your first date, birthdays, anniversaries, etc.
- Remember that love is like a garden; you have to nurture it for it to blossom.
- Provide thoughtfully for her physically and emotional needs.
- Occasional love notes are not out of place.
- Be alive to your responsibilities towards her.
- Make her feel like a million dollars.
- Pray together as one.
- Take her out occasionally to visit friends and family.
- Make her realise that you really do enjoy her company.
- Compliment her culinary efforts.
- Share jokes and anecdotes with her. Lighten up!
- Show by your actions that you care. Be demonstrative.
- Be dependable – someone she can lean on.
- Steal kisses from her occasionally.
- Do your share of the housework.
- Fuss over her when she’s not feeling too well.
- Be kind to her.
- Watch romantic movies together.
- Prove yourself trustworthy, do not give her cause to suspect you are fooling around.
- See the humour in her jokes.
- Sweet-talk her from time to time.
- Overlook some of her shortcomings.
- Act on the premise that “love bears all things”.
- Be her closest friend and confidant.
- Cuddle up often, not necessarily for lovemaking.
- Affectionately holding hands.
- Occasionally engage in good humoured teasing.
- Take care of the children together, they also carry your genes!
- Pay attention (listen) and consider her point of view.
- Show by your actions that you are proud of her.
- Give her an affectionate nickname.
- Regard her with the affection
- Present her with the first flower from the garden.
- Bring her tea/coffee in bed.
- Tell her she makes you feel very manly.
- Make her feel like she’s the sexiest woman on earth.
- Bring home her favourite snacks occasionally.
- Show her that you trust her.
- Splurge on her, just because…
- Make sure she is your “one and only”.
- You don’t have to win every argument, agree to disagree.
- Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner of her mistakes in the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
- Call her often when you are apart.
- Play games together.
Charles Anyiam-Osigwe.
Photo Credit: Brilliant Brush Gallery.
