Dear Dorothy,

My husband and I have been married for about 18 years, and we have 3 kids together – two boys and a girl. We are both working professionals, he is a banker and I run a successful law firm. We live in a detached house in one the upscale areas of Lagos which we have rented for a number of years. We pool our resources together to run joint family expenses – family upkeep, rent, school fees, etc. I thought we were a relatively happy, loving couple, living a pretty decent life and being thankful for our blessings. Little did I know I was living in a fool’s paradise.

A few months ago, my husband told me that his mother was not feeling well and that he needed about eight hundred thousand naira for her medical expenses. He asked me if I could help him with about four hundred thousand naira. Knowing how he is close to his mother and cares about her, I did not hesitate in giving him the money. You can imagine my shock when I was sorting his clothes when doing laundry and came across a receipt for the rent of an apartment costing nine hundred thousand naira. My husband had never told me of any need to rent an apartment. I did not confront him with the receipt, but my suspicions were raised. I snooped around and it did not take me too long to discover that the apartment is for a girl he is dating.

Dorothy, my idyllic world is in shambles. I don’t know how to handle this. I thought that my husband and I were so much in love with each other and only had eyes for one another. How wrong was I?! I am an emotional wreck. I find myself crying all the time, and my work is beginning to suffer. My husband has noticed my mood and has been asking me what the matter is? Dorothy how do I go about handling this matter? I am totally confused. I need your advice.

[See Dorothy’s response on Pride Magazine]

 

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