Dear Dorothy,
I have a successful career and will be turning twenty-nine in a few weeks’ time. Though my career is going very well, I can’t seem to find a man to call my own. I am single and searching.
I’m desperate to find someone to call my own. I want to settle down. I want to be married before my thirtieth birthday.
I am making every effort to meet and date. I have dated some single “eligible” men, but none has gone on to be a serious relationship. It looks like all the decent men nowadays are already taken or not serious about forming a relationship.
Dorothy, I seriously need your advice on how to go about getting a man I can call my own. Please advise.
My Dear,
I know the importance of companionship and the importance of being in a relationship that is fulfilling. This is a basic human need in my humble opinion. However, we do not need to be anxious or desperate to form such a relationship. Your desperation to be in an emotionally satisfying relationship with a man is leading you to be anxious, and may be making you appear nervous when you are with the opposite sex. This can drive potential partners away.
Secondly, the idea that you have to be married by the time you are thirty is setting an artificial, and possibly unrealistic goal for yourself. It may be time to stop looking and begin concentrating on building a satisfactory life for yourself without help from any man in your life. Once you accomplish this, you may find that men find you more attractive to be around. This can then lead to your being better able to achieve your goal of a meaningful relationship with a man. However, even if you do not find the love of your life, you will have a happier life. Not everyone will end up married, and marriage should not define how happy you can be as you journey through life.
However, my prayer is that God our Father of all mercies will grant you your heart’s desire and bless you with your right partner to live with happily ever after.
I wish you a fairy-tale ending to your quest – with you the Princess meeting your Prince Charming and living happily ever after.
Good luck.
